The vaults are insufferably damp.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

(I wrote this back in 1999)

% Bad bugs bad bugs whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
% Carps - See real space travelers in action!
[Narrator] Today we take in the scene with Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged. Join us for a half hour of excitement with this oh-so-interesting being!
[Inside Wowbagger's ship] Hey, we're headed for Omnithrush Gamma. An eight-legged megamonkey named Danielwooz. I think I was going to call it a "Tofu swilling nunkifrump". That should do the turlingdrome.
You see, I'm on a quest.
Insult the universe.
It keeps me busy.

[a bell sounds] We've arrived. Should take the computer just a few...there he is, in that forest. We'll just set down in that clearing. I see him now, in that tree.
[camera follows W down the landing ramp] You! Hey, You! Danielwooz!
[megamonkey awakes, looks startled]
You tofu swilling nunkifrump!

[monkey is shocked, starts to growl]

[W makes a check mark on his computer]
Yeah, never made it out of the trees, did you?

[W re-enters the ship as the monkey roars] You know, I think I've been here before. Something to do with an eel or something. I've been to most planets in the galaxy many times over.
Let's see, next on the list is Daniel W. Oozer. Hmm...He'll be at the Big Bang Burger Bar. That will do nicely. Deflate him in front of his friends. May as well catch a snack while I'm there.

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